Last week people from across the world paid special tribute to Sean Stephenson on social media. A Facebook post by Brother Peter Bielagus caught our attention and he was gracious enough to share it here on phikaps.org/news for Brothers and extended Phi Kap family to understand how influential Sean remains:
Recently, I have tried to stay off social media as much as possible. But today [May 5, 2021] would have been this man’s 42nd birthday if the Good Lord hadn’t other plans for him.
Why did the world lose such a great man so soon? I struggled with this, and still do, but the answer was there from the beginning. Sean was never much for the physical. The body he was given was merely a suitcase that held the most brilliant mind and the most beautiful heart I have ever come across in the same person. I met my share of brilliant minds, and I’ve chanced across many beautiful hearts, but I am not sure if I have ever seen both of such magnitude in the same body.
We’re all given a physical suitcase. The suitcases come in different sizes and colors and models. Some suitcases are older, others are newer. As we go about our everyday lives, we look at the other suitcases, but we don’t spend much time finding out what’s in them.
Sean had a suitcase that compelled people to learn more. When I would show pictures of Sean, people would ask:
-“So how does, he, like, ya know…”
-“Osteogenesis imperfecta? Is that like brittle bone disease?”
-“Kayaking, bowling, mini-golf, and dancing? Wait, that guy can do all that? How?”
As they learned more, they got to see more of what’s inside the suitcase. And the more they saw of what’s inside the suitcase, the more they wanted to learn. A brilliant mind and a beautiful heart.
But the funny thing is that Sean was never about “look at me.” He was always about “look at you.” What Sean taught me is that there is a brilliant mind and a beautiful heart packed inside all our suitcases, but that heart and that mind are often lost amongst the other items in the suitcase, the guilt, the insecurity, the anger, the loneliness, the past, the unfairness.
He challenged people to get that stuff out of their suitcase. That means actively throwing it out-forgiving that person you need to forgive, owning the mistakes you made, admitting you cannot change the past, apologizing to the people you wronged, acknowledging that maybe you can’t do it alone (and maybe you’re not supposed to.)
Sean was famous for doing just that on stage in front of his audiences. He would call himself out, in front of five hundred, or five thousand, people, and apologize to the person he wronged. He would publicly state his failures, his frustrations. He did all of this in a world where every day, folks like you and me, tell our friends, family, and coworkers: “I’m fine. Things are good.”
Even though we’re not. And things aren’t.
There are a lot of videos of Sean online, and I encourage anyone reading this to type in the name Sean Stephenson (“that’s DR. Sean Stephenson”, I can hear him saying from Heaven) and watch whatever video appears.
But I also encourage you, as I know Sean would, to do something, right now, that will move some of those items that are in your suitcase, but maybe shouldn’t be, out.
Happy Birthday, Brother. See you on the other side.
Peter G. Bielagus is an author and professional speaker who met Sean Stephenson while touring on the college speaking circuit. Their friendship blossomed and Sean eventually invited Peter to become a brother in Phi Kappa Theta.
“If you have a heartbeat, there’s still time for your dreams.”