Addressing Mental Health in Your Chapter

by Dan Bureau, PhD
University of New Hampshire, ‘95
Board of Trustees
Assistant Vice President for Student Affairs at the University of Memphis

You call him brother.

You call him friend.

You look out for him when it comes to lots of things, but do you look out for his well-being? In particular, do you look out for his mental health?

It can be tricky to identify if someone you care about in the fraternity is experiencing a mental health problem. Particularly for men, there is so much pressure to appear to have it calm and together. Pressure to come across like things do not bother you. The reality is that very few people can manage this pressure well. As the pressure becomes too much, it may be an indicator that your brother has a problem with his mental health.

Now, feeling stressed is a natural thing. Stress is the body’s response to managing all that is going on and sometimes when too much is going on, you are going to feel tense, stressed, upset. So, having some stress is not a problem and could potentially be good for you.

But when stress does overwhelm someone and it goes unchecked, there is potential for a number of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, thinking problems, personality changes, problem behaviors (think overuse of alcohol or demonstrating a lack of concern or civility to others), and even suicide ideation. Student debt can also play a factor. The reality is that even with the very minimal differences in actual mental illness between men and women, men are far less inclined to seek help. This results in a number of issues for us in Phi Kappa Theta.

You call him brother.

You call him friend.

You look out for him when it comes to lots of things, but do you look out for his well-being?

In particular, do you look out for his mental health? If you don’t look out for his mental health, there’s a good chance you’ll miss an opportunity to be the best brother you can be.

Your obligation is to find the resources on your campus that can help. This may be having the Counseling Center conduct a stress management workshop for the chapter. It could be walking your brother over to the Counseling Center. Whatever it is, find out on your campus who you can turn to in order to address mental health in your chapter.

Phi Kappa Theta is launching a partnership with the JED Foundation. A number of other fraternities including Alpha Chi Rho, Alpha Epsilon Pi, Delta Upsilon, Pi Kappa Phi, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, and Sigma Chi have announced national partnerships with the JED Foundation. The JED Foundation’s website provides a number of resources that can be helpful in learning about mental health and mental illness. Check them out today! Look for a launch of the partnership between Phi Kappa Theta and the JED Foundation launched sometime by the end of this year. In the meantime, “seek him with hours to kill and reach out to him with hours to live”, can guide you. A meaningful statement within the ritual and an explanation for why looking out for your brother is so important to his well-being and yours.

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About Dan:

Dan Bureau joined Phi Kappa Theta at the University of New Hampshire, and graduated in 1995. He later earned a PhD. in Higher Education and Student Affairs at Indiana University. Dan works for the University of Memphis as the assistant vice president for student affairs. He also volunteers for the Council for the Advancement of Standards through the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors. Dan enjoys spending time with his family, playing tennis and staying fit.

New Member Education and the Negative Influence of Hazing

National Hazing Prevention Week is September 24-28, 2018

by Dan Bureau, PhD
University of New Hampshire, ‘95
Board of Trustees
Assistant Vice President for Student Affairs at the University of Memphis

Many of us have had the privilege to recruit and select new members this fall. Bringing new members into our organization is arguably our greatest responsibility as a member and doing so in a way that helps them feel integrated and valued is vital.

It does not matter if you have five or fifty new members, what matters is that you have an educational program prepared for them that is developmentally appropriate, professionally and personally focused, and free of actions that could place your new member in harm’s way.

It is my hope, and that of the fraternity as a whole, that you will conduct new member education activities in a way that does not harm a person. It is that simple.

While accidents may happen under acceptable conditions (i.e. a flag football game, camping trip) what we need to be sure of is that we are not providing the environment and direction that could harm someone.

One way that we mitigate harm is by not allowing hazing activities into our chapters.

September 24th - 28th is National Hazing Prevention Week. Since 2004, this week has been recognized across the interfraternal and higher education community as a way to remind members that hazing has no place in Fraternity.

Phi Kappa Theta has a membership education program that can be easily applied in your chapter and it does not include activities that would be considered hazing.

Understanding our history, functions, values and goals as an organization does not require us to have new members prove themselves through activities that are really pointless or at the least, only solve the immediate problem of group unity.

It is for that reason that many choose to haze: group unity. The impression is that the group will unite in a way that is meaningful and get them closer to their goal of initiation.

While hazing activities may appear to have a unifying aspect to them, what it does is create a sense of false immediacy by new members: if we come together faster as a result of suffering through this then we will initiate more quickly.

We all know that rarely does a new member class initiate more quickly because they allow themselves to be hazed. The timeline for initiation is typically set ahead of the new member process launch, and often involves input from the national organization and the campus professionals who oversee fraternity/sorority life.

Therefore, not only are the hazing activities potentially dangerous, but they are also untruthful. I think we have a responsibility to be truthful with our new members, earn their trust, as well as keep them safe.

Hazing undermines our values as an organization. It makes us less relevant to potential members who do not want to put up with crap in order to become a member of an organization.

Yes, there are people “looking to be hazed” but in my experience of working with fraternities (over 22 years) those members often quit or disengage and often they are what can lead to the end of the chapter on a campus.

Some of them change their attitudes as a result of a member experience that is positive, but more often than not a person who wants to be hazed has a number of other issues that they must work through and they are often someone you would not want as a member no matter how fun or cool: they will very likely not care enough to help the organization succeed.

Many students I talk to focus on the definition of hazing. That can be a starting point, but rather than worry about what is and what is not hazing, create experiences that help new members develop leadership skills, get connected in campus, have fun with fellow brothers and fellow students, enhance their affinity for serving the community, network with alumni and develop a sense of self value that will help them as a student and a member.

State laws can tell you about what is and is not hazing, but when you think about the values of Phi Kappa Theta and the benefits of fraternity on the whole, thinking through the “why” of any activity is vital to ensure that there is a meaningful and purposeful new member (and member) education process that helps brothers become their best self and best member.

For more resources on providing new member and member education experiences that are not hazing, please contact our Executive Offices and review resources found at HazingPrevention.org.

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About Dan:

Dan Bureau joined Phi Kappa Theta at the University of New Hampshire, and graduated in 1995. He later earned a PhD. in Higher Education and Student Affairs at Indiana University. Dan works for the University of Memphis as the assistant vice president for student affairs. He also volunteers for the Council for the Advancement of Standards through the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors. Dan enjoys spending time with his family, playing tennis and staying fit.

I Missed IMPACT18

Phi Kappa Theta in August

by Kevin Lampe
Western Illinois University, ‘83
Trustee, Phi Kappa Theta Foundation; former National President Phi Kappa Theta Fraternity

I missed IMPACT18.

I did not just miss it.

I missed being with my Phi Kappa Theta Brothers.

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Brother Lampe speaking at the grave of of Brother John F. Kennedy (WPI, 'A) at the 2017 Biennial Convention in Washington D.C..

Our annual meetings, usually in August, are a part of me. Since 1989, I have attended every year except one.

For many Brothers, we have a collegiate experience that bridges our lives from about 18 to 22 years old. Together, we make the transition from teenager to adult. A time full of trial and error, some answers but more questions and taking our first steps on our life’s path.

After graduation, we decide what role Phi Kappa Theta will now have in our lives. For some, it’s homecomings and football games, or local alumni or housing boards, some will socialize with others from their era in school and others will be a part of events that span the history of their chapter.

Now, I have done all of those activities. But I added an additional facet to my Phi Kap life. I became active with “nationals” as the “undergrads” will say. My involvement with the National Fraternity includes almost every aspect of Phi Kappa Theta volunteer commitment.

For those who chose that Journey (pun intended), our chapter meeting is the August meeting. Some participate for just a few years, while others for decades upon decades. Each summer, we spend a few days together catching up on each other's lives and sharing stories of days gone by.

Much of the time though, is spent contributing to the vision that shapes the future of Phi Kappa Theta. There are board meetings, speeches, constitution and bylaws changes, training sessions, banquets, trustee elections and of course, our ritual.

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Brother Lampe speaking at the 1990 Leadership Congress in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

During those days, brotherhood is rekindled. We will celebrate personal and professional success. We will agree and disagree. We will fight and plan. We will make mistakes and achieve goals. Yet, sometimes, we will say something awful, exhibit questionable behavior or just do the wrong thing. Then real brotherhood enters our lives again - a brother reaches out to another to listen, guide, offer advice or provide honest but loving words that will correct another's life course.

During my course of alumni leadership, I am thankful for the words of encouragement from alumni brothers. I am even more grateful for the strong but firm words of constructive criticism from these brothers. As I approach my 40th year as a Phi Kappa Theta brother, I have become the sum total of that experience.

I missed that.

I missed IMPACT18.

I missed my brothers.

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About Kevin:

Kevin Lampe graduated from Western Illinois University. He is recognized internationally as a political strategist, crisis manager and media relations expert. Kevin and his wife, Kitty Kurth are partners in Kurth Lampe Worldwide, a strategic communications rms with clients across the United States, Europe and Africa. Beginning in 1996, Kevin joined the Podium Operations team at the Democratic National Convention. They are responsible for the training and logistics for all speakers. In 2004, Kevin helped then-State Senator Barack Obama prepare for his keynote address at the convention in Boston. Kevin served as his undergraduate chapter’s president, ritualist, recruitment and chapter installation chair. He began his service to the National Fraternity on the Undergraduate Advisory Council (UGAC) in 1980. First elected to the Fraternity Board in 1999, he served as National President from 2009 to 20011. He currently serves as a trustee on the Foundation Board. Kevin and Kitty reside in Chicago, IL and Burlington, WI.

Trying New Things and Making a Difference

A Look at How One Small Decision Can Impact the Lives of Thousands

by Jared Grieve
Kansas State University, '19

"My advice is to take chances in your life, no matter how little, because you have no idea where you might end up."

Jared Grieve
Kansas State University, '19
2018 Phi Kappa Theta Executive Office Intern

I have lived in Kansas my entire life, so if you told me I would have a chance to live in a big city over 600 miles away, I would have just laughed and called you a liar. This past summer I had the best opportunity to do just that.

This is my story, from a small town in Kansas to making an impact around the country.

Growing up, I was what some people might call your average Midwest kid. I played football, basketball, baseball and golf. Although, I was never the star athlete or the smartest kid on the block, I knew that some day I would have an opportunity to make a positive impact on the world around me.

After graduating from high school in 2015, I decided to attend college and pursue a mechanical engineering degree. During my senior year of high school, I decided to start looking at colleges to attend. Because I have never lived out of Kansas, and probably because I was too scared to leave, I decide to narrow my search to only schools in Kansas.

Growing up, I thought the University of Kansas would be where I would end up. But the minute I walked onto the campus of Kansas State University I knew that this was the place where I wanted to live.

Bill Snyder, Hall of Fame coach, and current coach of the K-State football team said, “We came to Kansas State because of the people, stayed because of the people and returned because of the people, and that remains unchanged.” I can’t say how true this was for me.

“Family” is a word used all the time at K-State and to tell the truth, I really had no idea what it meant to K-State until I arrived on campus. Manhattan, Kansas, is truly one of the best towns in the Midwest, consistently ranked as one of the “Best College Towns in America” and I am so happy to have called this place home the past few years. The people are truly the ones that make the difference. And the people here have really helped me learn what being a servant leader is all about.

During the spring of my senior year all I could think about was how excited to move into my dorm and start college. But then I saw a letter about Greek Life at K-State. I have never considered myself to be someone who would join a fraternity, but I was interested in the idea.

Throughout that spring I attended many different recruitment events at many different fraternities. While I did receive bids from other chapters, I knew there was something different about Phi Kappa Theta.

When I joined the Kansas Iota Chapter, there were about 40 members. During my first year, I loved most of my experiences, but good things don’t always come easy. Throughout my first year, I could tell that the chapter was having some issues. There were groups forming in the house and many different visions of what a Phi Kap should be.

After the end of my freshman year a change had to be made. Unfortunately, that was a membership review, which took our chapter down to seven members.

Our chapter decided that everything we do should always live out our mission that “Phi Kappa Theta activity develops men to be effective leaders who passionately serve society, Fraternity and God.”

To make an impact on the lives of our members, this is what had to be done. That November, I was elected to the position of Chapter President.

During the second semester of my sophomore year I started to really look at what my future had to hold for me, and really, I did not like what I saw. I knew that I could be a decent engineer, but something was missing.

Through arguing with myself, I decided to change my major to Organizational Management. I knew this was a great decision from the first day. With this new major I could really see how I could make an impact on the people around me.

That summer I had the privilege to represent our chapter at the Phi Kappa Theta Biennial Convention in Washington D.C.. During the convention I learned about the open positions on the Undergraduate Advisory Committee (UGAC).

When I heard about this, I knew that this was going to be where I can start to make a major impact. After being elected to represent the Midwest Province, I was also elected as Chairman of the UGAC. With this, I also serve as a member of the Phi Kappa Theta Board of Trustees.

Through this position, I have been able to travel to the chapters in my Province assisting with things from recruitment to governance models. With this, I started to really make a positive impact on those around me.

This most recent summer was my chance to live out of Kansas for the first time. I was offered an internship with the Executive Office of Phi Kappa Theta, which meant I would be moving to Indianapolis. To say I was excited would be an understatement, but going from a population of 5,000 to 900,000 is just a little intimidating.

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Facilitating at the University of South Dakota.

After getting settled, I was ready to get started. I worked on many different aspects of the Fraternity, some of which I had no idea were even a part of the operations of a not-for-profit organization. Most of my work was focused on member engagement and chapter operations, spending a lot of my time developing resources for our collegiate leadership.

With resources that we already had, I compiled and developed a day-long recruitment workshop. Not only was I able to develop the workshop, I traveled to the University of South Dakota to be the facilitator of the new program. I received great feedback from the chapter and I could tell when I left that I have made a positive impact on their chapter and possibly hundreds of members to come.

Another project that I got to work on was the planning and logistics of this summer’s national conference, IMPACT18 in Orlando, FL. The work of Dr. Michael Brown, his team of coaches, the national staff and all alumni involved made this experience an unforgettable one.

The theme of the conference was “Live Beyond Yourself” which is our fraternal commitment to servant leadership and our passion to “Give, Expecting Nothing Thereof,” Luke 6:35.

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2018 Phi Kappa Theta Executive Office Staff.

This conference was extremely beneficial to everyone who attended, especially myself since servant leadership is such a major part of my life.

As I return to school I take back more skills and inspiration to make an even bigger impact on the world, investing in that which will outlive myself. I also take time to reflect on how all of this would not be possible if when I was in high school I just threw out the letter about Greek life.

My advice is to take chances in your life, no matter how little, because you have no idea where you might end up. My one small decision to even consider Greek life has made a life changing experience on my life. With this, I have left an impact on thousands of people around the country.

I have to say, I am truly blessed to have been given these great opportunities to make a difference in the lives of many. Probably the most important people who have really shaped who I am today are my parents. They are my biggest role models in my life teaching how to be loving, generous, humble and are the main reason I am able to do the things I am doing today.

I will end with a few things Dr. Brown explained that will happen if you live your life as a servant leader. Your impact will outlive you, your final days on this earth will be without regrets and your example will be emulated by others who follow.

Visit myfraternitylife.org for more information on the #myFraternity initiative raising awareness of fraternities that build better men.

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About Jared:

Jared Grieve is an undergraduate student at Kansas State University. Brother Grieve is also the Chapter President for Phi Kappa Theta’s Kansas Iota Chapter at Kansas State.

He grew up in Paola, Kansas, and graduated from Paola High School in 2015. Brother Grieve is currently a senior at Kansas State University, studying business management.

He serves as Chairman of the Undergraduate Advisory Council for Phi Kappa Theta Fraternity, representing the Midwestern Province, which includes chapters in Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Iowa and South Dakota. Through this position, he also serves on Phi Kappa Theta’s Board of Trustees.